The latest ooh-shocking shame shame shame seems to be this business about the name of Washington DC’s football franchise. Lots of very important media people are upset not only about the name “Redskins,” but the attitude of Dan Snyder, the team’s owner.
When I bump into retired sportswriter Lu Senz at the Liquor and Rubber Balls Sports Bar and Depilitation Studio, I buy her a beer and ask if she has any insight. She does, of course.
“Let’s start with a few givens,” she says, matter-of-factly. “First off, it’s pretty well established that even in the insulated, elite community of NFL owners and their close associates, Dan Snyder is known as an asshole among assholes.”
Yeah. I saw the video.
“Second, there just isn’t any wiggle room — the term ‘Redskins’ is a racial slur. It’s at least as bad as ‘Darky’ or ‘Chink.’ That the team has been known by this name for decades is mind boggling — only in Washington could something this hypocritical endure the way it has.”
But endure it has. In fact, it seems like the more attention it gets, the deeper they dig in.
“Exactly. See Point One. Snyder takes this as a matter of pride. Were he to even consider changing the name. he’d be jeered at and hounded by his peers for knuckling under to the faggot liberal PC tree-hugging vegetarian commies whose goal in life is to ruin everything America and the NFL stand for. By taking the stand he takes, he sends a message about where he is on all this, and they eat it up like raspberry poontang.”
So all this media attention — like Slate and New Republic and Mother Jones that came out over the weekend and said they wouldn’t ever refer to the name any more — just gets him to dig in even deeper, izzzat it?
“Exactamundo. Music to his ears. To him and his guys, it proves he’s right. Stiffens their little dickies and grows hair on their bumpy old men’s chests. And the fact is,, those campaigns are just lame anyway. I’d handle it a whole lot different.”
Like Ross Perot, we’re all ears.
“Run a contest. Ask readers what name they want to substitute for ‘Redskins.’ Throw it wide open and see what comes back. Me, I’d go for ‘RedMeats.’ Maybe spell it with a z, too. But I bet people would write in all sorts of horrible shit, like ‘Washington Savages,’ or ‘Scalpers,’ or even ‘Moccasins’.”
Um, I think it’d be worse than that.
“Yeah, me too. Definitely the N-word. And Coons. And maybe Kikes, just for the helluvit — in honor of the owner. Hey, how about ‘Dots’ or ‘Wogs’ — they’re just different Indians! Or maybe do what the Miami Beach police department did during Urban Week — call ‘em all ‘Canadians’.”
The Washington Canadians? That’s low.
“Shit — It’s all about low, innit? Has everybody lost sight of the fact that most of the players on the Redskins, and in fact in the entire NFL, are in fact Black? This whole thing just stinks of exactly what white people do all the time when it comes to handling issues of racial sensitivity: deny, divide, and conquer.”
We both draw deeply on our beers.
It’s not going to add up to anything, is it, Lu?
“Nah. The NFL is a world of its own. Too much money, too much power. And bottom line is, despite all the money, it’s just not really all that important. It’s just fucking football. So Bee Eff Dee.”
Hey — that’d be a good name. The Washington Bee Eff Dees.